How to Celebrate

         the Sacrament of Reconciliation Today

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the

present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all

creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

Have you ever wondered what happened to confession?  You don't see the lines of people waiting to enter a confessional on Saturday afternoon anymore.  Have Catholics just stopped going to confession?   Maybe we don't recognize the difference between Confession and Reconciliation.  Do we know how to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation today? 

As children, many of us never questioned why we went to confession, it was simply something that good Catholics did.  But as we become older, we sometimes avoid the Sacrament of Reconciliation because we don't adequately understand the stages in our journey to celebrate God's forgiveness.  Often times, we don't feel that we know the "adult" way to participate in the sacrament and don't think we still need to confess our sins to a priest.  To assist you in understanding the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a process of conversion, confession, and celebration, we will look at the well-known parable of the Prodigal Son. Then, let's review the Rite of Reconciliation, the steps of the Examination of Conscience and individual celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We will also provide some reflections and prayers to help you prepare to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation today.

Reconciliation:  An Experience of Forgiveness

The Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) illustrates the unconditional love that the father has for his son.  The father, seeing his son in the distance, runs out to meet him with an embrace and a kiss.  He doesn't wait for the son to get all the way back to the house.  He isn't immediately interested in the young man's confession, only in celebrating the son's return home-back to the family.  When the son makes his confession, the father hardly listens and the son is not made to beg for forgiveness; he has been forgiven.  The wonderful Good News is that God's forgiveness, like God's love doesn't stop.  Jesus reveals to us a loving God who is like the merciful parent in this parable: not out to catch us in our sin but intent on reaching out and hanging on to us in spite of our sin.

Most of us grew up viewing the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession or the Sacrament of Penance) with the attitude of the older son in the story:  Forgiveness comes only after you recite the list of your sins, agree to suffer some for them, do something to make up for your offenses, give some guarantee you won't commit the same sins again and prove yourself worthy to join the rest of the church family again.  Reconciliation is not just a matter of getting rid of sin.  The main concern isn't even what we do as penitents.  The important action is what God does in and through us.  It involves a journey that started when we turned away from God and decided to come back home again.  Our journey to reconciliation with God means that we convert, confess, and celebrate.

The First Step:  The Ongoing Process of Conversion

 The conversion process begins when we "come to our senses" and realize that we are not living in a way that puts God first in our lives.  Prompted by our faith response to God's call, conversion begins a desire for change.  This change brings about a new direction in our lives that is revealed by our thoughts, our words, and our actions.  The internal transformation that takes place happens when the Holy Spirit reveals to us that God loves us unconditionally.  Conversion is always a response to being loved by God.  We then realize that God's love saves us; we don't save ourselves.  Our part in this conversion process is being open to God's love and God's grace.  Conversion is not a one time event; it is a continuous, ongoing, life-long process to "be holy as God is holy."  Each experience of the conversion process reveals God to us in a new and even brighter light.

In the story of the Prodigal Son, the young man takes the first step in the conversion process when he "comes to his senses" and says, "I will break away and return to my father."  He admits his sinfulness before he even leaves the pigpen.  When the son acknowledges his sin, he also expresses contrition and determines his own penance, "I will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against God and against you...Treat me like one of your hired hands."  Contrition, for us, means we examine our present lifestyle and relationships in the light of the Gospel and take steps to repent and repair those relationships with God, with others and with ourselves.  The repentance step in the conversion process is not about punishment, it is instead about repairing and correcting a sinful lifestyle.  The purpose of doing penance is for growth and taking steps in the direction of living a changed life; making room for something new in our thoughts and in our actions.

The Second Step:  Confession as the External Expression of Conversion

Confession is the one aspect of the Sacrament of Reconciliation that used to receive the most emphasis but is now viewed as just one step of the total process.  Confession of our sin can be sincere only if it is preceded by the process of conversion.  Confession is the external expression that we are undergoing an internal transformation brought about by conversion.  Our attitude toward the confession of our sins and the Sacrament of Reconciliation are related to our image of God.  We really need to be able to see God as the great Lord and Father who is always ready to reach out in forgiveness.  The Rite of Reconciliation reflects this image of a God of mercy.  In the past, the penitent began with, "Bless me, Father for I have sinned."  This is the way the prodigal son in the parable planned to greet his father.  But as in the parable where the parent intervened, God, in the person of the priest, now takes the initiative, reaching out, welcoming the penitent and creating an environment of love and acceptance before there is any mention of sin. 

Confession of our sins remains an important part of the Sacrament of Reconciliation but we are called to do more than recite a prepared speech or list of sins.  We are challenged to search our hearts and our lives to discover the struggles and conflicts which cause the sinful acts to appear. 

Some of the questions that arise are:  Why confess my sins?  Why confess to a priest?  Why not confess directly to God, since God is the one who forgives us anyway?  The answers are related to our human characteristics.  We need to see, hear, and feel forgiveness--not just think about it.  Humans need rituals and ceremonies to celebrate the important moments in life.  We need other people to help us externalize what is within and open our hearts before God, who is present in the person of the priest before us.  Out of His great love, Jesus instituted this sacrament through which a sinner who is sorry receives pardon and peace and is restored to the fullness of God's grace.  Our priests do not act as impersonal judges, but rather take on the person of the Good Shepherd to compassionately guide us in our discernment and experience of God's mercy in our lives.  Another role of the priest is to say the prayer of absolution which signifies God's forgiveness of us and our reconciliation with the church family.  In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Jesus provides us with a way of being reconciled to God and to those we have hurt, and to be strengthened in our connection to God's entire family.  This leads to the celebration part of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

The Third Step:  Celebration of Our Journey to Reconciliation

Most people probably haven't associated "celebration" with the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  As we again look at the story of the Prodigal Son, we remember that the father says, "Quick! Let us celebrate."  We celebrate because we, as sinners, have converted, repented, confessed and returned to the church family.  All of the sacraments are communal celebrations of the lived experience of believing Christians.  Sacraments take place in people who are in relationships with each other and with God.  In the areas of sin, forgiveness, and reconciliation this is especially evident.  Our sinfulness disrupts our relationship in the community as well as with God.  Since the sacrament begins with our sinfulness, which affects others, it is only proper that it culminate with a communal expression of love and forgiveness that embodies the love and forgiveness of God.

When we celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we celebrate with joy and thanksgiving because the forgiveness of the Christian community and of God has brought us to the moment of conversion.  We carry on the example of the unconditional forgiveness of God by then forgiving others as we have been forgiven.  Having been forgiven, we are empowered to forgive ourselves and to heal one another through this forgiveness.  Together we come closer to the peace, justice and reconciliation that helps us be holy as God is holy.

The Many Aspects of God's Forgiveness

Christ instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation because He knew that His followers would fall into sin.
The sacrament is called the Sacrament of Conversion because it restores sinners to friendship with God. It is called the Sacrament of Penance because it consecrates the three steps required by the Church, namely, conversion, penance, and satisfaction. It is the Sacrament of Confession because the telling of one's sins to a priest is essential for this sacrament.  This is the sacrament of Pardon because the sacramental absolution by a priest gives pardon and peace to the penitent. It is the sacrament of Reconciliation because it restores God's merciful love to the penitent.

How to Participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation Today

The word reconciliation is rich in meaning. It suggests the gift of God's forgiveness and the removal of the barriers we place between ourselves, our community and our God. Reconciliation means the rebridging of the gap between God and us and between ourselves and others. It also suggests the deep peace that comes from being brought back into harmony with God, with sisters and brothers and with the whole of creation.

Prayer Before Confession

Examination of Conscience

Those who frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation often and make it a habit to examine their conscience daily should not find much difficulty in recalling their sins. When first preparing for reconciliation, it is helpful to ask oneself the following questions:

How long ago did you make your last confession? Did you omit to confess either intentionally or through forgetfulness any mortal sin? Did you willfully make any false statements in reference to a mortal sin you committed? Did you perform the penance imposed upon you? If not, say the penance before you enter the confessional. If, for some reason, you cannot pray the penance previously given you, mention that fact to your confessor.

Reflection:  The Lord says:  "You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart."

 Q) Is my heart set on God, so that I can really love him above all things and am faithful to His commandments, as a son loves his father?  Or am I more concerned about the things of this world?  Have I right intention in what I do?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) God spoke to us in His Son.  Is my faith in my God firm and secure?  Do I really trust Him?  Am I wholehearted in accepting the Church's teaching?  Have I been careful to grow in my understanding of the faith, to hear God's word, to listen to instructions on my faith?  Have I always been strong and fearless in professing my faith in God and the Church?  Have I been willing to be known as a Christian in private and public life?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Do I come before the Lord in prayer regularly? Have I prayed morning and evening?  When I pray do I really raise my mind and heart to God or is it a matter of words only?  Do I offer my difficulties, my joys, my sorrows, my gratitude?   Do I turn to God in time of temptation?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I a love and reverence for God's name?  Have I offended Him in blasphemy, swearing falsely, or taking His name in vain?  Have I shown disrespect for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the saints?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Do I keep Sundays and Feast Days holy by taking a full part, with attention and devotion, in the liturgy, and especially the Mass?   Have I fulfilled the obligation of going to confession when needed and the precept of going to Holy Communion during the Easter season?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Are there false gods that I worship by giving them greater attention and deeper trust than I give to my God: money, power, sex, drugs, superstition, occult practices?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Reflection:  The Lord says: "Love one another as I have loved you."

Q) Have I a genuine love for my neighbor?  Or do I use others for my own ends, or do to them what I would not want done to myself?    Have I given grave scandal by my words or actions?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) In my family life, have I contributed to the well-being and happiness of the rest of the family by patience and genuine love?  Have I been obedient to parents, showing them proper respect and giving them help in their spiritual and material needs?  Have I been careful to give a Christian upbringing to my children, and to help them by good example and by exercising authority as a parent?  Have I been faithful to my wife (husband) in my heart and in my relations with others?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Do I share my possessions with the less fortunate?  Do I do my best to help the victims of oppression, misfortune, and poverty?  Or do I look down on my neighbor, especially the poor, the sick, the homeless, the elderly, strangers, and people of other races or nationalities?  Do I truly believe that we are all sons and daughters of a loving God?  Or do I think I am better than others?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Does my life reflect the mission I received in confirmation?  Do I share in the apostolic and charitable works of the Church and in the life of my parish?  Have I helped to meet the needs of the Church and of the world and prayed for them?  Do I pray for justice, peace and reconciliation among people?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Am I honestly concerned for the good and prosperity of the human community in which I live, or do I spend my life caring only for myself?   Do I share to the best of my ability in the work of promoting justice, morality, harmony, and love in human relations?  Have I proclaimed the Gospel of Life - that all life is sacred from conception until death? Have I done my duty as a citizen? Do I speak out when I see injustice?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) If I am in a position of responsibility or authority, do I use this for my own advantage or for the good of others, in a spirit of service?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I been truthful and fair?  Or have I injured others by deceit, calumny, detraction, rash judgment, gossip, or violation of a secret?  Do I judge others?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I done violence to others by damage to life or limb, reputation, honor, or material possessions?   Have I involved them in loss?  Have I kept up hatred for others?  Am I estranged from others through quarrels, enmity, insults, anger?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I stolen the property of others? Have I desired it unjustly and inordinately?  Have I damaged it? Have I made restitution of other people's property and made good their loss?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) If I have been hurt or injured, have I been ready to forgive and make peace for the love of Christ?   Or do I harbor hatred and the desire for revenge?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Reflection:  Christ the Lord says: "be perfect as your Father is perfect."

Q) Where is my life really leading me?  Is the hope of Eternal life my inspiration?  Have I tried to grow in the life of the Spirit through prayer, reading the word of God and meditating on it, receiving the Sacraments, self-denial?  Have I been anxious to control my vices, my bad inclinations, my passions, e.g., envy, sex, love of food and drink?  Have I been proud and boastful, thinking myself better in the sight of God and looking down on others as less important than myself?  Have I imposed my own will on others, without respecting their freedom and rights?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) What use have I made of time, talent and treasure - the gifts that my God has given me?  Do I use them for the up building of His Kingdom? Or have I been lazy and given too much time to myself and my own pleasure?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I been patient in accepting the sorrows and disappointments of life?  Have I kept the precept of fasting and abstinence?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I kept my senses and my whole body pure and chaste as a Temple of the Holy Spirit consecrated for resurrection and glory and as a sign of God's faithful love for men and women, a sign that is seen most perfectly in the Sacrament of matrimony?  Have I dishonored my body by fornication, impurity, unworthy conversation or thoughts, evil desires, or actions?  Have I given in to sensuality?  Have I indulged in reading, conversation, shows, and entertainments that offend against Christian and human decency?  Have I encouraged others to sin by my own failure to maintain these standards?  Have I been faithful to the moral law in my married life?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Have I always tried to be act in the true freedom of the sons and daughters of God according to the law of the Spirit, or am I the slave of passions and forces within me?
Be merciful to me, Lord.

Q) Am I complacent when it comes to the practice and living out of the gift of faith my God has given me?
Be merciful to me, Lord

If after a careful examination of conscience, you fail to know or remember some sins you have committed, or if you truly forget to mention them in the confessional, that does not make your confession unworthy. All you need do is try your best to remember to confession them the next time you participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is not necessary to do so before you receive Holy Communion.

Prayer for a Good Confession

Celebrating the Sacrament
 

• The priest greets the penitent.

• The penitent says "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been-----(state the time since your last confession) since my last confession.

• Since that time, I have......" and tell your sins humbly, clearly and entirely. The priest may guide the penitent through the confession of sins, if needed.  

• Answer any questions the priest may ask.

• As you are concluding your confession, you may say to the priest, "For these sins, and those I truly do not remember, I ask for your forgiveness and advice."

• The priest may offer counsel to help the penitent identify patterns of sin and the habitual struggles that may be leading to sin.  He may encourage the penitent and suggest ways to overcome these habitual areas of sin.

• The priest will offer penance to the penitent.

• The penitent then says an Act of Contrition, similar to one of the prayers below, that expresses that you:

                           recognize your sinful nature

                           express sorrow for your sins

                           ask the Lord for the grace to overcome occasions of sin

          If you can't remember the prayers or need help with them, the priest will help you

• The priest will grant absolution for your sins and say "Go in peace and sin no more."

• The penitent is expected to do the penance assigned by the priest.

Acts of Contrition

Option #1

Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you

and I detest all of my sins because of your just

punishment, but most of all because they have offended

you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all of

my love.  I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace,

to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion or sin.  Amen.

Option #2

Oh my God, I am sorry for having offended you.  In

choosing to wrong and failing to do good, I have

sinned against you whom I should love above all

things.  I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance,

to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.

Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.  In

His name, my God, have mercy.  Amen.

Option #3

O my God, I am sorry for all the times I have offended

you, in my thoughts, words, works, and omissions.  I feel

sorry with all my heart, you being my Creator and

Redeemer and because I have endangered the interests

of your Kingdom. Help my weak will so that I may

never more offend you.  I offer you in satisfaction

the sufferings of my life in union with the infinite

merits of your Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Prayer After Confession

Almighty and merciful God, I give you thanks with

all the powers of my soul for this and all other

mercies, graces, and blessings bestowed upon me, and

prostrating myself at Your sacred feet, I offer myself

to be henceforth forever Yours.  Let nothing in life or

death ever separate me from You!  I renounce with my

whole soul all my treasons against You, and all the

abominations and sins or my past life.  I renew my

promises made in Baptism, and from this moment I

dedicate myself eternally to Your love and service.

Grant that for the time to come, I may detest sin more

than death itself, and avoid all such occasions and

companies as have unhappily brought me to it.  This I

resolve to do by the aid of Your divine grace, without

which I can do nothing.                                 Amen.